Perfectionism
What is Perfectionism?
It is a personality trait with an inbuilt expectation to achieve flawless work. Brené Brown, a writer and research professor distinguishes between perfectionism and healthy behaviour. She says “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth.” She explains that perfectionism can be used by many people as a shield to protect against the pain of blame, judgement or shame.
How does Perfectionism take hold
Parents may have set unrealistic expectations and to gain approval, you felt you needed to set the bar too high. Whilst there was no intention to cause pain, these patterns may be repeated patterns from their own childhood.
Myths about Perfectionism
We grow up thinking vulnerability is a weakness and avoid making mistakes which is a necessary process for us as humans.
Vulnerability helps us to connect to others, to grow and be our authentic selves.
Showing vulnerability to ourselves and others is a weakness. Believing your self-worth to be based on your achievements
Signs of Perfectionism
Fear of failure can bring on procrastination as well as avoidance in focusing on your work.
Become angry when we make mistakes
Can’t freely accept compliments or celebrate success
How to reduce Perfectionism
Being present helps us to notice the pressure we are applying to ourselves.
Share how you feel with friends and family you trust. If this feels uncomfortable, consider engaging with therapy.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and compassionate, we can start to build healthy resilience.
Recognise what triggers us to become angry and use mindful breathing to soothe these feelings.
By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and compassionate towards ourselves, can we start to build healthy resilience.
Let’s have a chat about how I can help you.